Personal, Psychology
by Sam Marchetta

My year of disruption

7 things I learnt during ‘my year of disruption’ 

This piece focuses on the lessons learnt during my year of disruption, which was filled with many highs and lows.

The year was 2016, and like most years it started out with much promise and anticipation for the year ahead. I had certainly planned for a successful year, building on the traction from the year before where I had established a clear vision and purpose to inspire people to be everything they can potentially be. However, like all good plans life happens, and last year it certainly happened! Click here (or the image below) for a sampler of my year of disruption.

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Within the first week of 2016 I was in emergency surgery to remove my appendix.  Unknown to me at the time, this was only the beginning of a series of challenges that would follow. There were several other health related challenges, relationship issues, friendship dramas, changes with work and not to mention a relocation from Melbourne to New York.  Something I had been dreaming of for many years.

At one point last year I completed The Holmes-Rahe Stress Inventory and scored over 300. Typically this score indicates an 80% chance of a stress related health breakdown within the next 2 years.

Fast forward to the present, what a difference 16 months can make, I can now reflect back on the lessons I learnt from one of the most challenging periods in my life.

  1. Avoidance eventually catches up with you – there were so many signs and instincts that I ignored, mostly because I wanted to avoid dealing the impact of listening to them. Listen intently to the signs that life is presenting and always go with your instincts.  They are almost always correct.
  2. Your opinion is the only one that really matters – everyone has an opinion, and people are certainly willing to share them with you. However, beware these opinions are often wrapped up in others personal and unconscious biases. Trust your own judgment, after all you are the only one that has lived your life.
  3. Your ‘true’ friends will stand out from the crowd – it’s one thing for friends to be there during the happy times, however it is the tough times that separate your ‘true’ friends from the crowd. There were people I had expected to be there when I was down, ironically I literally never heard from some of them again.  Yet on the plus side there were friends that really surprised me with their support.  Treasure those who support you through your toughest times and learn to let go of those who don’t.
  4. Allow yourself time to recover – it takes time to bounce back from life’s challenges. I certainly did not progress in my personal goals as much as I would have liked during this disruptive time. That’s more than okay, give yourself a break.  Focus on doing things that energise you and make you feel better. For me it was staying connected to my family and maintaining an exercise routine.  You should identify and focus on what energises you.
  5. It’s okay to ask for help – you don’t have to go it alone. Sometimes we just have to ask for what we need, which means being vulnerable and sharing what you are going through. There were times when I invited a friend over to just hang out and sit with me.  Asking for help is a good thing.
  6. Through adversity comes growth – I can honestly say I have learnt so much about myself through this period. I have a clearer focus on what I want to accomplish, and what is most important to me. A key realisation was that I was actually much stronger than I thought.
  7. Life goes on and on – yes it takes time, but things do get better and you will eventually move forward. Life does not always unfold as we planned, sometimes life and reality get in the way and that’s okay. A change of plans does not equate to failure, it may actually be a step in the right direction.  Let the lessons of the past be the strength of your future.

Click here for a sampler of my year of disruption.

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